Mmmmmmassage

My favourite massage therapist has been away travelling in India for six weeks! And he just got back! So of course I rushed to see him. His approach is basic Swedish with Ayurvedic and Yogic elements combined. Meaning...he kneads and stretches the living hell out of me. And although at times it can be uncomfortable even painful, the overall experience is soothing, relaxing and elongating. Ooooohhhhh!

Day after I am feeling like a new man. And although my back is still not at 100% it is getting closer and closer!

I DID NOT GET TO THE POOL YESTERDAY! :(

I am having to reinvent my schedule to re-introduce working out/training. I have been out of the habit for so long that I am not used to putting time into my calendar to make these things happen.

In just a little while, I am having my first session with a Performance Coach. Someone who does counselling/coaching with athletes. I am very excited. I am eager to get back into training and also avoid overtraining and hurting myself...physically and emotionally/mentally. There have been impacts of this time-off on my psyche and self-confidence. I don't want those to limit me anymore than they have to AND anymore than I am already challenged by the physical demands of tri-sport/ironman training...given my age and years of being overweight/out-of-shape and sedentary.

SO...onwards and upwards...I will report in later/tomorrow on my first session!!!!

I lost 10-lbs in one week!

OK...I am a happy, thinner boy. I am started to shed the winter weight (aka: depression weight) I had put on over the last 3-months. CRAP...it is way harder and less fun to lose weight than it is to gain weight.

It seems the way I was eating - although perhaps okay when training 10-13 times a week (which I was doing at one point before burning-out and hurting myself) - does not work when you suddenly return to a sedentary (aka: convalescent) state.

SO...ten pounds down (as of yesterday I was at 211 lbs down from the ghastly 221 lbs I had unofficially hit at the beginning of last week) in just five (5) days!!! YES...I know it's lots and rash...but a) I lose weight just as fast as I gain it and b) I am in a hurry -- I have no patience (yes...I am add/ocd/you-name-it...but I already know that).

And, my back injury is now about 80-90% improved. My chiropractor has gone from seriously concerned to thrilled at my miraculous turn-around. She is now saying its okay to start slowly training and working out again. SO...I am going to go swim NOW. This has the least impact and/or strain on my lower back. I am going to recover and rebuild and be even better than before!

YES!

New day...

OK...it's Monday 28th March 2011. My back is much better. Perhaps 90%. I have had a full weekend. I played. I rested. I had fun. I had moments of solemn reflection. I worked. I partied. All is good. SO...not it's time to get back to the gym: get on the bike, treadmill and into the pool. I think I will start with the pool for it's ease of movement and low impact. I do not want to push things...but I do want to get re-started.

Other good news: I am on my diet and other than drinking a lot of vodka Friday night (but either straight or with soda water - paleo style), I have behaved. In just few days I had lost 13-lbs. Severe, I know, but I had gained a lot. But then I was eating away my misery. WINTER WAS A DIFFICULT SEASON. And I hope it is over!

I declare this a new dawn!

A legend dies and life goes on...

It is a sad day. Elizabeth Taylor died. But then she'd had a long and interesting (and often privelleged) life. Lots of terrible things are happening all over the world (Japan, Libya, Soudan, etc.) and yet life goes on...

Like my back injury/pain. I am still hobbled like an old man. Walking stooped over and hesitantly. Pain is a constant reminder of my/our fragility. My chiro has no clue what I've done to myself or how. Nor do I.

At first I thought this would be over and done with by now...a couple of days and all better. But that has not been the case.

Then I started to panic that this was more serious. That I had really "f--ked" myself up...which maybe I have. But then I realized, LIFE IS SHORT. LIFE IS FRAGILE. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. In all of its manifestations. Good/Bad/Ugly. And I am not going to worry about that which I cannot do anything about. Nor am I going to live to my limitations. But rather to my limits!

I want to DARE to go / do / be / have what I want...what I can...what I dream...and I will live with the consequences. SO for now, I am committed to losing weight, healing my back and getting back in the saddle and training!!!

Pain in the back...

OMG...a few days ago I "threw" my back out. My lower back muscles suddenly seized up and I have been in utter agony ever since. I tried letting time heal it for a couple of days. NO GO. I have been to a massage therapist and my chiro twice. I am taking muscle relaxants. I am alternating hot/cold pads. I am stretching as much as I can given the limits of my muscles and tolerance for pain. And I am completely f--ked!

I am supposed to go to this training camp in just 2-weeks. I can barely walk. And I have to work. And I haven't trained in 5+ weeks!

OMG...this is more drama than I expected...

:(

218 lbs...shit!

OK...weighed in and I'm up...mind you I ate breakfast (2ce) and dranks tons of water...so there is NO consistency to my weigh-ins. But I do NOT look like this guy! I assure you.

I did 10 sit-ups at home...nothing else so far.

My coach is trying (finally) to encourage me...to get back on the horse (or bike in this case). I am still having lower back pains, so I'm going to see my chiro today. And I want to go see a sports massage therapist. Maybe all of that will help.

I am also really interested in STRENGTHBOX and I tried calling this morning. I want to go for a tour and to start their morning classes.

I am hoping to build some momentum to get out of this rut soon!!!!!

I am getting fatter by the day...

I did NOT make it to the gym yesterday!

I did weigh in this morning and I am now 217.8 lbs.

OMG...I can't seem to get off this downward spiral. I have no motivation and my lower back hurts. And I just want to eat...argh!

HELP!

One Foot Forward...One Foot Back!

Weighed-in this morning at 216 lbs...down 2 lbs from yesterday, but on a) a different scale and b) at a different time. I didn't make it to gym YET...and should be doing a bike session...but just not looking like I will. Trying for another swim...

Baby steps back to recovery and return to training...

OK...I finally made it back to the gym this morning for a quick swim!

YEAH!!!!

Now my progress was minimal -- 400 meters -- as compared to where I'd been when I QUIT or burned-out...2km on my own!!! YIKES...but it's all little steps toward recovery and regrouping!

I also weighed in today at the gym and it was horrible: 218 lbs!

YUCK...I'm busting out of my clothes and feeling horrible. Problem is it's a double-edged sword, cause I feel horrible, I don't want to eat right or exercise. I've been here before. SO...I am thrilled for any little progress. And I am not going to push myself too hard...yet!!!

FOR NOW I AM CELEBRATING GETTING BACK ON THE HORSE!!!!